Romance Addiction Cycle

Obsession

• Physical or emotional “trigger”
• Consumed by thoughts
• Plots, plans, schemes
• Loss of concentration
• Judgment impaired

The Hunt

• Driven to find relief
• Seeks out someone or something
• Point of no return

Recruitment

• Movement to resolve pain
• Enlistment, enticement, seduction
• Risk

Gratification

• Object of hunt is attained
• Other person steps into desired role
• Thrill of conquest
• Victimization of other party

Return to Normal

• Feel calm, peaceful
• “Switch” turned off
• Mood altered

Justification

• Pain resurfaces
• Rationalizations
• Depersonalization of victim

Blame

• Focus on own neglect or abuse
• Refuse to accept responsibility
• Lay problem at another’s feet

Shame

• Blaming seems inadequate
• Horror at own actions
• What sort of person must I be?
• Stuff feelings

Despair

• Elation-depression cycle
• Utter despair
• Resolve to fix what is broken

Promises

• “Never again” list of promises
• Fear of breaking promises
• Return to start of cycle