What Is Codependence?

• My good feelings about who I am stem from being loved by you.
• My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.
• Your struggle affects my serenity.
• My mental attention focuses on solving your problems or relieving your pain.
• My mental attention is focused on pleasing you.
• My mental attention is focused on protecting you.
• My self-esteem is bolstered by solving your problems.
• My self-esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain.
• My own hobbies and interests are put aside. My time is spent sharing your interests and hobbies.
• Your clothing and personal appearance are dictated by my desires as I feel you are a reflection of me.
• Your behavior is dictated by my desires as I feel you are a reflection of me.
• I am not aware of how I feel. I am aware of how you feel.
• I am not aware of what I want. I ask what you want.
• I am not aware—I assume.
• The dreams I have for my future are linked to you.
• My fear of rejection determines what I say or do.
• My fear of your anger determines what I say or do.
• I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship.
• My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you.
• I put my values aside in order to connect with you.
• I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own.
• The quality of my life is in direct relation to the quality of yours.