Common Characteristics: Adult Children of Family Dysfunction (ACFD)

Adult children of family dysfunction/ACFD:

• Guess at what normal is.
• Have difficulty in following a project through to completion.
• Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
• Judge themselves without mercy.
• Have difficulty having fun.
• Take themselves very seriously.
• Have difficulty with intimate relationships.
• Over-react to changes over which they have no control.
• Constantly seek approval and affirmation.
• Feel that they are different from other people.
• Are either super responsible or super irresponsible.
• Are extremely loyal even when there is evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.
• Look for immediate rather than deferred gratification.
• Lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to the possible consequences, or before considering alternate behaviors.
• Seek tension and crisis and then complain about the results.
• Avoid conflict or aggravate it; rarely do they deal with it.
• Fear rejection and abandonment, yet are rejecting of others.
• Fear failure, but sabotage their own success.
• Fear criticism and judgment, yet criticize and judge others.
• Manage time poorly and do not set priorities in a way that works efficiently for them.
  

  In order to change, adult children of family dysfunction/ACFD cannot use history as an excuse for continuing their behaviors. They learn to have no regrets for what might have been, for their experiences have shaped their talents as well as their defects of character. It is their responsibility to allow God to reveal their talents, to build their self-esteem and to repair any damage done. They will allow themselves to feel their feelings, to accept them, and learn to express them appropriately. When they have begun those tasks, they will try to let go of their past and get on with the business of their life.